Sunday, 14 November 2010

Pain 2

I have the most excruciating pain. It's in my chest and there's nothing they can do.
There are no drugs powerful enough to even take the edge off and no matter what position I sit in, whatever distractions I devise, it overshadows everything.

3 Hours ago, I stood outside the lift back to my ward and said goodbye to my husband and my babies. The 6 year old was devastated, crying and clinging to me and begging me to come home with them. Like the grown up I supposedly am, I had to gently prise his little arms off my leg and smile and tell him everything would be fine and I'd be home before he knew it.

By the time I stepped into the lift, I crumpled, but sod's law made the doors open up again and there was his little face, looking hopeful that I'd changed my mind. I dredged up one last beaming smile and then played hide and seek as the door slowly shut us away from one another.


  1. Sue....Bloody hell, can't you at least get a joint in there, and retire to the garden ?

  2. For once, I'm in total agreement with Ken!!

    Thinking of you.

    Syzygy Sue x

  3. Thinking of you, really hope this gets better soon. you write so descriptively I can see your little one's face.
    If only Science could find a solution to sort this problem out for you.
    Take care x

  4. Like everyone else here sue am thinking of you
    take care :)

  5. Sue - I'm not sure what to say! I want to say 'hope you are OK', but obviously you are not, or you wouldn't be in hospital. I can say that you are amazing and as you put it in (Dave's words) one of your posts - when you live you REALLY live.

    I know that when you get home, you will be able to really live (in true Sue style) with your kids and husband and without/with less pain (and with nice shoes instead of slippers) and thus will all be the better for it.

    Hugs. Corinne

  6. I love your writing... so honest and real but poetic too... I'm definitely recomending other people to you on my blog!

    Get well soon,


  7. Hi Sue....I'm sure we're all looking forward to your next post...Hope you're having a better day today. <3

  8. Sue,

    You do write very well! A talent I'd say.... Children are the most resilient of all... if they see you smile on Christmas day, then it will be worth it :)

  9. Oh, bless your heart, that must have been torture for you xx