I have the most excruciating pain. It's in my chest and there's nothing they can do.
There are no drugs powerful enough to even take the edge off and no matter what position I sit in, whatever distractions I devise, it overshadows everything.
3 Hours ago, I stood outside the lift back to my ward and said goodbye to my husband and my babies. The 6 year old was devastated, crying and clinging to me and begging me to come home with them. Like the grown up I supposedly am, I had to gently prise his little arms off my leg and smile and tell him everything would be fine and I'd be home before he knew it.
By the time I stepped into the lift, I crumpled, but sod's law made the doors open up again and there was his little face, looking hopeful that I'd changed my mind. I dredged up one last beaming smile and then played hide and seek as the door slowly shut us away from one another.