Tuesday 4 January 2011

George Osborne, The Artful Tax Dodger

Funny really. There's something about him. I always imagine little Georgie Osborne in a Victorian tailcoat, rubbing his hands together like Scrooge. This morning, the country will instead see him as the Artful Dodger as they munch their cornflakes and open their newspapers.

In every daily, there he is, ducking and diving and cheating his tax. On the day VAT goes up to 20% - a Tory tax incidentally, they always race to put it up - there he is in his top hat laughing at you. 


I thought I'd share some lyrics with you. Oh how apt they are. Oh how I love musicals. 

Perhaps at first we imagine Osborne's (Dodger) talking to a naive, wide eyed Clegg, (Oliver) taking his first, blinking steps in the palace of Westminster? Osborne's friend, Cameron, (Fagin) would just love to meet him!


Before he knows it, they're making him feel so at home.....

Consider yourself at home.
Consider yourself one of the family.
We've taken to you so strong.
It's clear we're going to get along.
Consider yourself well in
Consider yourself part of the furniture.
There isn't a lot to spare.
Who cares?..What ever we've got we share!

If it should chance to be
We should see
Some harder days
Empty larder days
Why grouse?
Always a-chance we'll meet
To foot the bill
Then the drinks are on the house!


How was Klosters George? 
Far better you cheat dear boy! Cameron will tell you how it's done (Fagin)

[sung] In this life, one thing counts
In the bank, large amounts

I'm afraid these don't grow on trees,
You've got to pick-a-pocket or two

You've got to pick-a-pocket or two, boys,
You've got to pick-a-pocket or two.

Large amounts don't grow on trees.
You've got to pick-a-pocket or two.

[FAGIN (spoken)]
Let's show Oliver how it's done, shall we, my dears?

[sung] Why should we break our backs
Stupidly paying tax?
Better get some untaxed income
Better to pick-a-pocket or two. 

You've got to pick-a-pocket or two, boys
You've got to pick-a-pocket or two.

Why should we all break our backs?
Better pick-a-pocket or two.

[FAGIN (spoken)]
Who says crime doesn't pay? 


And the offshore accounts Mr Osborne? "Why should you break your back, stupidly paying tax?" Why indeed, when you can pick the pockets of the sick and disabled, our children and the poor?

The real Fagin would be turning in his grave. 

And finally, it's worth remembering, he really will do anything.

[DODGER (spoken)]
Dance, Nancy.

[NANCY (spoken)]
Oh, alright, Dodge. C'mon boys!

Would you rob a shop?


Would you risk the "drop"?


Tho' your eyes go, 'pop'


When you come down 'plop'

Hang ev'rything!
We'd risk life and limb
To keep you in the swim
Yes, we'd do anything...


Anything for you. 

And they really will do anything won't they?

Would you stuff the poor?
Change protection laws?
Slam shut every door?
If they ask for more?
I'd let em starve.....

I'd do anything, 
For rich, pals, anything
Yes I'd do Anything..

Anything for Blue.

Update: Yep, you guessed it, the Telegraph and Mail pulled the ads. http://www.leftfootforward.org/2011/01/mail-and-telegraph-pull-anti-tax-dodging-ads/


  1. Fantastic! I'd love it if it weren't so chillingly, awfully true :( BG Xx

  2. Did our colleague on another list give you inspiration Sue? It seems printing songsheets is the ceurrent blogging fashion!

    I have replied to the NHS thread (if the nurses care to look back).

    The one measure that has totally defeated my ability to understand its logic is the VAT increase.

    If you are a 'benefit scrounger' it will hit you more than anyone. That might not cause GO any loss of sleep but I fail to understand the Danny Alexander / Vince Cable enthusiasm and more importantly for me, I have not heard any coherent explanation why it should be preferred to, say, NI or IT increase. I have tried to discover such.

    So my problem with this measure is as much grounded in lack of comprehension about its choice, as much as issues of fairness and 'we are all in this together' politics.

    Clegg will say 'we are raising the threshold for paying tax'. What good is that to the benefit 'scrounger'?

    The coalition does not believe growth will be harmed. On what possible rational basis is there for such a contention? If so VAT might just as well have been raised to 25%.

    What total nonsense these people talk.

  3. I can't find what you mean about a colleague and songsheets Howard, lol.
    I'd always planned to back up today's full page ads of Osborne as the Artful Dodger, paid for by an online campaign.

    As for VAT, I believe Alan Johnson said this morning that he would have gone for the NI rise instead, which I totally agree with.
    Labour have never raised VAT, it's regressive and the only reason the Tories favour it is surely for the very reasons you list? Everything they're doing hits the poorest hardest, VAT's just another example.

  4. Sue

    I agree with BG... fantastic use of a musical but difficult to smile when it is so appallingly near the truth.


    I wish that the BBC would interview you! Their seemingly complete inability to get past the smirking GO refrain "necessary to get out of the dangerous situation for the economy" is not great journalism.... (and GO's people really should do something to stop him doing that smug crocodile smile).

    I just don't know how all the decent LDs that I've met/know can stand any of this.

  5. Sue,

    Good post... you will find it hard to gain support on the VAT issue..

    The rise disgusts me, and I haveopposed it since June, but people seem so apathetic on the issue it makes me angry...

    I am currently on a VAT hoiday, huffing from the lack of interest shown in the rise by my fellow citizens

  6. Eoin you really should spend more time on Twitter! Should have seen the moans about 10p extra on their Starbucks.

  7. Didn't Darling raise VAT last year back to 17.5% ? Regressive tax ? Certainly, but lets not tell porkies.

  8. Haha, Olivier, that's rubbish, you can do better than that!! Labour put VAT DOWN temporarily to 15% - you can't call it reverting to the Tory levels of 17.5% a rise now can you???

  9. Sue
    Old Nat did 'It's all right with me' on UKPR (starts it's the wrong time, and the wrong place, etc)

    I always end up thinking (I did with Blair) 'only if he hadn't' and that's how I feel about NC /VC but AV will fix that for me (and then onwards and upwards to the Elysian fields of PR after the next coalition is formed - and I don't care between whom).

  10. http://www.scope.org.uk/news/disability-living-allowance

    Sue, good link for you [above]

  11. Sue, great stuff as usual, and made me smile, especially "Consider yourself...."
    Yougov tonight....

  12. Truely brilliant contribution Sue.