"Oooh, did you see her? She walked her kids to school"
"Huh, if she can type, she could work" (Nadine Dorries)
"18 kids at a birthday party? Even I couldn't do that and I'm healthy." (Have spent all day today sitting in chair cuddling baby and watching TV. No washing up, no cooking, no bills paid, I can barely move, but kids are kids and it's not their fault I'm sick. Mum came and tidied up in the morning, hubby came home at 11 to run the whole shebang, a kind Mum made the birthday cake, another did the school run this morning knowing I'd be nearly dead! Big Society Mr Cameron - it's alive and well and making sure I do more than just survive.)
"Bought a new TV? Didn't know they were giving those out on the state now (Husband's best friend, laughs at own hysterical joke)
"She never wanted to work, she just wanted a man to look after her" (Husband's best friend)
"You have to weigh up a bit of diarrhoea against the money you cost us" (Said by top consultant who obviously doesn't have a CLUE about my kind of bowel disease.)
"Well, she's not dying, I see no reason to run the test sooner" (Said by top consultant who blah blah blah..."
"Well, if she will eat curries, what does she expect?"
"Eat a f***ing donut you skinny cow" (Shouted in the street by two fat Mums)
"Why should I listen to a skinny f***ing Belsen refugee like you? (spat at me by a builder who parked in a disabled spot with no badge when I dared to suggest others might need it"
"What's disabled about you then? You look OK?" (Asked by a policemen questioning why I need a disabled parking badge)
"If you wanted to be well, you would be." (General statement from collective do-gooders, alternative therapists and self-helpers)
Shall I go on or do you get the drift?
What is that quote? "Judge no man til you have walked a mile in his moccasins"
I'll do a deal with you Ms Dorries, and all the others.
Live a day of my life.
Just a day.
Actually, make it a month.
If you don't double ESA at the end of it I'll eat my hat (except you'd report me to social services for claiming to have bowel disease whilst being able to eat fabrics)