Monday 22 September 2014

Hospital Logic Part 1

I think I'll make this a series. If you pointed every logic-fail out to the nurses, you'd be talking forever.

So to kick off, Patient Rest Time :

1) Enforce a patient rest time between 1pm and 3pm. Switch off all the lights and close all of the blinds there and then. Even if everyone in the bay asks for them to be left open, do not allow this. Use whatever means necessary to assert your authority.

2) Once you're sure it's completely dark, deliver lunch.

3) Make sure that staff do not modify their behavior in any way and that all 20-30 are having to shout at once to hear one another in the corridor. In fact, this is also a good time to hash over last night's tequila related incidents.

4) Schedule all blood tests, physio sessions and dietitians between 1pm and 3pm

5) Remove lunch uneaten from those who actually managed to sleep through the cacophony.


  1. Things could be worse. You could be at #Lab14 right this minute listening to Ed Balls burying the Labour party for all eternity - just as certain folk said he would :-)

  2. Seems completely reasonable to me! I really have no idea why you keep harping on about this sort of thing??

    (Just for avoidance of doubt - for individuals who are coping with overload - or trolls - this was sarcasm!)

  3. Just like the old 'wake up... time for your sleeping pill' scenario.

    To laugh or cry, that is the question!!

    Looking forward to Part 2 :)


    1. Sometimes they force the pill into your mouth before they say 'wake up' - if they bother to say it at all.


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