Thursday 19 July 2012


I want to write loads of stuff and I can't and I don't know what I can and can't write about and I'm gagged and it sucks.

It chuffing well sucks.

I want to write about huge things, things that are making me sad, things that are making me furious. Things that are making me scared.

But today, I just really, really want to see a doctor.

Any doctor of several really.

I'm not well - surely I can say that - everyone knows it anyway. I'm particularly not well just now and that chuffing sucks too.

Stuck in limbo, tied up in knots, waiting in pain.

And I can't explain or share any of it with you lot.

**Sorry, but please don't ask or speculate, I can't answer anyway :( :( :( :( :( I just had to type to avoid spontaneous combustion 


  1. Love and hugs, Sue

  2. I think I can take an educated guess. :( . thinking of you


  3. sounds like this could be the same democratic people who banned the bbc programme on the london riots - a secret court with a secret judge making decisions in secret with no accountability

    welcome to fascist britain, the country where you can't say gold or silver or olympics or london or have any international event 150 miles within the olympic arena or could lose your business to the olympic police travelling the length of the country to make sure the 'olympic games' aren't ripped off


    what a foul and unpleasant country this has become

  4. All I can do is offer sympathy and hugs. Hope things get better.

  5. Ah that's rubbish. Will you ever be able to talk about it? Cos if so, you could write a book about it now and then release it the instant you're allowed. Please don't spontaneously combust! Maybe you should have a bonfire and some fireworks to combust for you? lots of hugs xxx

  6. love, prayers and thoughts. That's all!

  7. i read your blogs and i am disappointed to see you so frustrated with this, hope you dont combust and find a way through x elainewinterb (twitter)

  8. Huge gentle hugs until the problem goes away....

  9. Love and hugs xx Hope your troubles go away soon.....

  10. Thinking of you Sue.

    Helen (Sims)

  11. blanket or block if you like (though that aint the best word to use at the moment i know) emails..they cant censor those....and anyway who the hell is censoring...lets email them speech is part of the law of the land last time i looked unless it can be construed as slander or libel in which case you need to be an mp with privelege of the house behind you....all in it together my arse....hope you are picking up a bit sue....

  12. Is it,them,that shall not be named.

    We all know who they are anyway.

    The nasty little *~><!!!

    You know who I speak of.

  13. Perhaps you should look into having a blog hosted in Iceland, beyond the reach of local censorship.

  14. its a real shame to read this. you are a source of inspiration and comfort and i hope you get it sorted out soon as your blog will be missed

  15. I don't know what to say or do to take the pain away. Just a virtual hug...

  16. Meanwhile, metaphor is your friend :-)

    1. Good plan! At least a few of you will "get" them

  17. Sorry to hear that, Sue - sending love & strength! xx

  18. Work on the telepathy, Sue....

    Bloody Hell this is a nightmare. How do they describe Britain..Land of justice and fair play, or something...don't think so somehow.
    I hope there will be light at the end of this particular tunnel soon, Sue.

  19. Tricia Dickson19 July 2012 at 15:49

    I've been saying for months, nay years now, that we're not in a democracy any more, but a dictatorship.

    This just stinks Sue, and my heart goes out to you.

  20. Ironic isn't it? You start a blog to relate just how you're affected by this system as a disabled person, and just as you get well known, you have to shut up!

    Really, you couldn't make it up could you!

    Free country this aint.

    Sorry you're not well again too. Virtual hugs and stuff.


  21. i did say this would happen around the time you started this blog sue of which you may recall ?
    And most posters here thought i was wrong but as i said at the time i never have been and more to the point never will be

  22. Best of luck. Thank you for the inspiration you give us xxx

  23. Rooting for you Sue. Things must be bad if even you are lost for words; but we're all confident in your amazing resilience. Big hugs.

  24. Sue, if it the same people who tried it on with me, I asked them to sue me if they have any problems.....not heard a word since.

    Keep the faith!

  25. The truth will come out in the end.

    1. Oh it will. And can you even begin to imagine the weapon words, the force of eloquence, the prosaic arrows, straight to their rotten hearts that I will rain down on them when it does?

  26. Brian McAlorum19 July 2012 at 20:37

    The Truth speaks to each of us as we are made
    Then walks with us silently out of the night
    These are words we dimly hear –
    Sent out beyond your recall
    Go to the limits of your longing
    Embody me
    Flare up like flame
    And make big shadows I can move in
    Let everything happen to you –
    Beauty and terror
    Just keep going
    No feeling is final
    Don't let yourself lose me
    Nearby is the country they call life
    You will know it by its seriousness
    Give me your hand…

    ~ Rainer Maria Rilke ~

    This is my favourite translation of one of Rilke’s poems – for such times as these…

    And I agree with [Bill Kruse 19 July 2012 15:19] Quote:
    “Meanwhile, metaphor is your friend :-)”

    And so are we...

  27. Oh no! So sorry to learn that you're feeling so poorly :(

    And 'gagged' too? This really sucks. "A problem shared is a problem solved." Or so the proverb goes...

    I hope whatever troubles you have you can at least share them with those close to you? Sometimes though, I find it's preferable to speak with strangers because they're objective and you can't hurt or burden them quite the same as you do with family. Take heart that we're all very concerned and would help in an instant if we could. I'm not sure what the worst could be if you did share. It must be serious :( You must be bursting with frustration. I'm sure everyone is curious beyond compare to find out what's going on too.

    Look after yourself lovely lady. I hope everything is sorted out very soon x

  28. Sending you love, Sue, Peta xxx

  29. Send love and hugs. I hope you feel much better soon - without our health life really sucks.

  30. If they gag you it's because they're scared your words may somehow hurt or expose them. "They" are cowards and bullies. Your blog is inspirational and strong ... your revenge will one day be sweet. As someone already said, keep writing and we will wait to read your words when you're free to do so - be that on the blog or in a book.

  31. please dont self combust, think of the environment! you will blamed for global warming! take deep breaths or scream, either work wonders for me. you have many people thinking of you. x

  32. *hugs* Sue, we're all still with you. Ramalina.

  33. someone's scared of the truth emerging then! power and strength to you Sue, you're army are right by your side!

  34. Strange that an outspoken person is reduced to silence. u never struck me as a person who wilts when pressure is on. only guess its abt money, maybe wrong but then again it is the root of all eveil

    1. [QUOTE]Strange that an outspoken person is reduced to silence. u never struck me as a person who wilts when pressure is on. only guess its abt money, maybe wrong but then again it is the root of all evil[/QUOTE]

      Well i know the pressure as i have lived it for years so i know how sue is feeling. All that happens is that the person involved has to stand down and someone else has to take over and start again from scratch
      my health got to bad so i had to not play the role i could and should have played and sometimes in life when your life has been on the edge it's best to retire so that a fresh voice is heard

      Sue had gone way beyond anyone else in society it trying to make others aware of how the government treats the vulnerable and at the end of the day she nearly died herself and now needs to hand over the fighting baton to someone else someone with the passion and desire to get justice for those that have died and redress for all those suffering at this time be it with physical or mental disabilities and that at some point soon peace can be restored in to our lives so that we can be part of a decent society once again

  35. Write everything you want to offline Sue. Publish later. We'll still be here.
    Anonymous of 12.57: sometimes everyone can wilt a little. We just hope that there are many more standing tall, ready to pull us back up.
    Lots of hugs Sue, feel better xx

  36. i hope you are feeling a little better today sue,keep up the good work. it will all come out in the end. all the best steve.

  37. I don't begin to understand what is going on here, i thought gagging orders were for footballer's floozies!
    finding your blog when i was ESA50 bonkers was a lifeline for me. I hope that truth will out eventually.

  38. I had to look up what a gag order is... and am horrified that this can happen in UK to ordinary people... scary... but there will have to be many more orders made to silence truth.

    Surely cheaper to put the costs of making such orders to better use... perhaps as compensation for penalising innocent DWP applicants while they are put onto interminable minimal payment holding patterns during appeals process?

    Truth always prevails, no matter how many are opposed to it.

    be strong, Sue, and keep on blogging even if you can't publish some of the truth temporarily x

  39. Publish and be Damned, The newspapers do it all the time...then WE ALL as Spartaci see it goes around facebook, twitter, the newspapers, the labour party, the Committee on Welfare Reform..anyone...and WE ALL kick up such a fuss, when, where, with whom ever we can to get the info as widely known as possible....they can't manage to silence ALL of us...

    Just as Grayling tried to get the MOJ video withdrawn and failed cos others copied it before its second removal from youtube and recirculated it elsewhere...

    Just leak it someone else you trust...who promptly releases it BEFORE another gagging order is issued..then let them try to prove you were the source and not that the information was already being investigated/researched already by this other person...just my two pennorth Sue....:-))

  40. I can feel you. I understand what you are feeling right now. You just need to let out what your feeling before you burst out. Just be strong and have faith. Everything will be alright.

  41. i should add the only time you shouldn't stay silent is if any member of the public are in any danger be it to their health that could lead to their death or their finances leading to bankruptcy if that were to be the case then you need to report that to someone like max Clifford or the police for advice

    any threats made to you by the person responsible for the gagging should always be reported to the police as it is a criminal offence to gag someone by the way of a bribe or torture or by any means in which you feel that you are suffering be that mental or physical

    you should never under any circumstances be gagged if their is any sort of danger to the public and that's the bottom line whatever role you play in society

  42. A point for all those urging Sue to "publish and be damned" or move to some place where she can say what she likes.

    Caveat: I Am Not A Lawyer.

    But there are lots of circumstances where Sue could not say anything aloud. For example, when a trail is under way there are all sorts of restrictions on reporting. Most especially those closely involved may not comment until the trial is over. Doesn't matter where you publish it, you can be found in contempt of court and punished. This is so that ill-informed or malicious gossip can't prejudice the fairness of the trial. I have no idea whether this is the case for Sue, but it is one example.

    A second one is when national security (read - the reputation of the government!) is at stake, when they can gag everyone.

    Then there is the voluntary agreement when two parties in a dispute agree that neither will make any further comment on a matter.

    Then there is the "injunction" and the "super-injunction." This is when a court forbids anyone to comment on a matter. Thus, for example, a celebrity gets an "injunction" which prevents any paper from printing a certain allegation against them, because even just an unproven allegation would do them much damage. A "super-injunction" is one when the papers can't even say that there are things they are not allowed to say about Person X.

    There are doubtless others which I've missed since (as I said above IANAL) but some of these are necessary for proper legal processes. Some are the powerful flexing their muscles. All of them can have serious consequences for those who disregard them.

    There are some cases where people are merely threatening undesirable consequences. But they may have serious legal muscle and should not be messed with.

    Don't try to push Sue further. We'll hear in time and meanwhile we don't want her being harassed by lawyers. She has enough on her plate with whatever is going on, and an ES50 form to fill in as well.

    One more time - I know absolutely nothing about any legal or other problems which Sue is facing. All the examples I gave above are made up out of my own head to illustrate a general point. All of them amount to one thing - Sue is facing a problem she would be very unwise to talk about now. Don't push it.