I'm literally giggling so much, I can hardly type now.
Kaliya Franklin (AKA @BendyGirl) and I are supposed to be terrible sharp, focused, competent and organised today. Campaigners, (apparently) welfare warriors (accidentally), the voice of a lunchbreak. (possibly)
We are to make our debut dontchya know? Like "nice gels" in the 50s but without the demure dresses. We will give a "big talk" on welfare reform at the Compass conference tomorrow at the Left Foot Forward seminar. http://www.compassonline.org.uk/conference/
We haven't actually worried much about that bit yet, focused as we are on the much more daunting task of actually getting to London. After 6 weeks of crohn's-flare-which-smashed-my-immunity-which-led-to-flu-which-turned-into-a-chest-infection I am down to my very last teaspoon of ability. As late as Wednesday, we had no idea if I'd be able to make it at all. Our "Plan B" was that my ever-amazing Dave would just drive me to London on Saturday morning, wait while I gave my bit of the seminar, and drive me straight home to bed again. He knows how much this means to me.
Like some kind of miracle, I woke up on Thursday morning thinking that maybe, just maybe, I wasn't actually going to die and that I might be able to get downstairs. London was still some way off....
This morning, I gingerly ran through my body parts checking off symptoms and finding them just about functioning, got out of bed and saw that Kali had been being sick all night! Vomiting here, gagging there, the last time we spoke she was still going strong!!
We have to pack, get to our respective stations, (Sussex and Liverpool) she must face all the navigation hell of public transport in a wheelchair, I must hope like hell I get a train seat near a toilet.
When I get to London, I have to make my fluey legs walk onto the tube and cross London to meet Kali at Euston. I wonder if they actually can? (It's a work in progress.)
Our plan is to then fall gratefully into a taxi, check into the hotel, put on our PJs and try to stay out of A&E long enough to get through the weekend. To be fair, we spend lots of weekends trying to stay out of A&E so it's not Compass's fault.
At least there'll be room service!! Imagine the heaven of a world where unwell people can just pick up the phone and say in a pathetic voice "Can we have a honey and lemon pleeease? And some Toblerone. And do you do Haribos? Egg on toast? Or maybe it doesn't work that way. Kali and I don't stay in posh hotels much, so we fear they might make us stick to a menu or something. I am going to gaffer-tape over the prices.
Have you noticed that I haven't really mentioned the seminar itself? That's because we aimed to plan it all this evening. *gulp* We know what we're going to say obviously, and vaguely how we want to say it, but despite becoming bessi-phone-mates over the last few months, we've never actually met!! We wanted to work it out together.
At this rate we'll be working out bathroom shifts!!
But whatever happens, come hell or high water, we'll be at the Compass event. We'll paint on some glam, dust off our mothballed we-used-to-work clothes and talk from the heart. If that's all we can manage, I reckon it'll be enough.
**This is Kali's take on it. We're like #spoonie twins.... http://benefitscroungingscum.blogspot.com/2011/06/fit-for-conference.html