Friday 24 June 2011

Carry on Compass!

I'm literally giggling so much, I can hardly type now.

Kaliya Franklin (AKA @BendyGirl) and I are supposed to be terrible sharp, focused, competent and organised today. Campaigners, (apparently) welfare warriors (accidentally), the voice of a lunchbreak. (possibly)

We are to make our debut dontchya know? Like "nice gels" in the 50s but without the demure dresses. We will give a "big talk" on welfare reform at the Compass conference tomorrow at the Left Foot Forward seminar.

We haven't actually worried much about that bit yet, focused as we are on the much more daunting task of actually getting to London. After 6 weeks of crohn's-flare-which-smashed-my-immunity-which-led-to-flu-which-turned-into-a-chest-infection I am down to my very last teaspoon of ability. As late as Wednesday, we had no idea if I'd be able to make it at all. Our "Plan B" was that my ever-amazing Dave would just drive me to London on Saturday morning, wait while I gave my bit of the seminar, and drive me straight home to bed again. He knows how much this means to me.

Like some kind of miracle, I woke up on Thursday morning thinking that maybe, just maybe, I wasn't actually going to die and that I might be able to get downstairs. London was still some way off....

This morning, I gingerly ran through my body parts checking off symptoms and finding them just about functioning, got out of bed and saw that Kali had been being sick all night! Vomiting here, gagging there, the last time we spoke she was still going strong!!

We have to pack, get to our respective stations, (Sussex and Liverpool) she must face all the navigation hell of public transport in a wheelchair, I must hope like hell I get a train seat near a toilet.

When I get to London, I have to make my fluey legs walk onto the tube and cross London to meet Kali at Euston. I wonder if they actually can? (It's a work in progress.)

Our plan is to then fall gratefully into a taxi, check into the hotel, put on our PJs and try to stay out of A&E long enough to get through the weekend. To be fair, we spend lots of weekends trying to stay out of A&E so it's not Compass's fault.

At least there'll be room service!! Imagine the heaven of a world where unwell people can just pick up the phone and say in a pathetic voice "Can we have a honey and lemon pleeease? And some Toblerone. And do you do Haribos? Egg on toast? Or maybe it doesn't work that way. Kali and I don't stay in posh hotels much, so we fear they might make us stick to a menu or something. I am going to gaffer-tape over the prices.

Have you noticed that I haven't really mentioned the seminar itself? That's because we aimed to plan it all this evening. *gulp* We know what we're going to say obviously, and vaguely how we want to say it, but despite becoming bessi-phone-mates over the last few months, we've never actually met!! We wanted to work it out together.

At this rate we'll be working out bathroom shifts!!

But whatever happens, come hell or high water, we'll be at the Compass event. We'll paint on some glam, dust off our mothballed we-used-to-work clothes and talk from the heart. If that's all we can manage, I reckon it'll be enough.

**This is Kali's take on it. We're like #spoonie twins....


  1. Sue's version here, Kali's take on it lol it must be Wimbledon week. Seriously best of luck Ladies.


  2. You two are amazing. Just the thought of the word 'train' makes me feel sick.

    I wish you both the best journey and know you will be great ambassadors for the disabled.

    Sending all my spoons in your direction (if only we could loan spoons eh)



  3. Good luck to you both, and health and wealth to pay off the room service x

  4. I wish you both good luck. I think it will be the travelling home that may finish you both off! If you're staying at The Ritz, (lol), dont order the toblerone, its £8 for a tiny bar!

  5. Obama’s sending the Beast complete with chaffier, Champagne, bubble bath…and Cameron’s £300 per hour private masseur… oops I just woke up!
    Good luck!

  6. Thank you sooooo much for all you do.
    Good luck, have a great day - god knows, you deserve it!

  7. Hope you both have a good as time as possible and hugs to you both

  8. I feel very sorry for Kali having to do the journey from Liverpool, they can be very bad in Liverpool about getting people on and off trains, although admittedly not as bad as Shrewsbury. I hope you both get there safe and that the hotel room service is good ^_^ *hugs to you both* good luck!

  9. I now have an image of the pair of you snuggled up in duvets and your pj's dunking mini-Toblerones in boiled eggs instead of soldiers, lol.

    Hope the journeys were swift and smooth and that you are now lounging in luxury in anticipation of a successful day tomorrow :)


  10. Thank you for making such efforts. I just admire that you are going to do it, leaving the whole speech bit to the last minute would freak me out. But totally get the doing it together. Hope both your health holds out and the hotel lives up to expectations. I have always been far too worried about the bill to ask for room service! In this day and age its dreadful that the disabled should worry so about getting from A to B on public transport.

    I wonder if the two of you are like you imagined each other to be in real life.

    Keeping my bendy fingers crossed for you both.