I can form a think tank, form a think tank, form a think tank screen."
Come on LGBT - step up!! We only need a "Pink" now and we've got a whole rainbow of ridiculous, out of touch, dis-connected nonsense to pontificate over while real people suffer.
"Blue Labour" "Purple Labour" "Orange Bookers" Shall I translate?
"I am so supremely arrogant that I think I know better than the millions of people who vote for existing parties."
"I am so intelligent and well educated, that I believe I ought to tell people what they should be thinking."
"I am so fashionable that only I know that purple is the new red or orange is the new yellow"
"I am so cosseted by the Westminster bubble that I believe people give the tiniest damn about "direction" or "factionalism" or "in-fighting" or "re-branding"
"I have totally forgotten that ordinary, non-politics-geeks are worrying about their mortgages and their jobs and their wage packs, not the self-indulgent labels I want to spend the next few years agonising over"
"I think I can invent a brave new ideology to shape the world in my own image."
"I am so disingenuous that I believe I can create and implement a new political model without consulting the very people who will have no choice but to vote for it or be dis-enfranchised. (I might even keep it all a bit quiet til it's too late for the voters to "out" me.)
Labour would do very well to kick anyone very hard, who tries to use yet another colour to fix something that isn't broken. Should this prove impossible, then I wonder if they'd mind leaving their membership cards at the door on the way out? you see, Labour is Labour. If you want purple/blue/right/next or Timbuk-flippin-tu Labour, then I hate to say it, but you've infiltrated the wrong party.
I imagine there are more than a few Lib Dems who wish their very own colour blind Orange bookers would do the same thing. Libs who might be muttering "Leave our damn party alone a jog off to form a nice, muddled, misguided, navel-gazing, macho-liberal party of your own.
I have a great idea. How about they all set up a new party of their own and leave ours alone? It could be "The Rainbow Party" an elite alliance of colour fetishists. They can tout their new and improved paternalistic policies about the place, appealing directly to voters on a manifesto of watered-down blandism.
I have some suggestions for them :
"Free markets for all"
"Race to the Bottom Economics"
"Increasing the Poverty Gap"
"Protecting the Status Quo
"Focus Group Democracy"
"The New Media Alliance"
"Policies by the privileged, for the privileged."
"Statistics and how to twist them"
Oh!! Hang on a minute! They don't need their own party! What was I thinking??? There is already a perfectly Blue party waiting with open arms to receive their gut based, knee-jerk, philanthropic vision.
It's called the Conservative Party.
When they suggest that "Purple" Labour must mix Red and Blue (Labour and Conservative) values, or that "Orange" liberalism leaves no room for disillusioned Labour voters, they can set up their own street stalls, deliver their own leaflets, knock on their own constituency doors and see just how much public support their ideas will attract. Just like UKIP have to. Or the BNP. I fail to see why they get to leap-frog over the poor Greens and use my Red or the Lib Dem's yellow to create their royalist/ecclesiastical purple or fake-tanned/incendiary Orange.
You know what actually happens when you mix all the colours together? You end up with a very unattractive, sludgy, un-transparent, muddy colour. It doesn't really know what it is any more and nobody but nobody would choose to wear it.