Monday 30 May 2011

Spoonie Revenge Party

Oh how we laughed!!

Last night, no doubt a little hysterical on bank holiday levity, we held a virtual, twitter, spoonie** party.

Imagining the day when we win our fight. (and we will win because we're right), we decided the best punishment for ministers past a present would be if they had to live our lives for a year.

The suggestions rolled in thick and fast - Messrs Osborne & Cameron, Ms Miller and those from the past such as Purnell, and Field could serve the drinks at our celebration, then be shipped off to their new lives to see exactly what they did.

Obviously, they would only have £65.40 per week to live on until their "assessments" had been carried out. If they fail the assessment, they will have to survive on nothing at all until the tribunal is heard. Even if they pass, we'll just start the whole procedure all over again, "assessing" them endlessly to the point of despair.

We'll find them nice little slums on a sink estate somewhere, where obviously, their property will have to be sourced from the lowest 30th percentile of housing stock. Then we'll tell the neighbours they're all scroungers and skivers taking advantage of their hard earned tax money, inciting a nice bit of hate crime along the way.

They won't be able to get out of bed or clean themselves unless someone turns up to help, but no-one will turn up as the care packages will have been cut. They'll have to lie in their own mess for days on end until someone comes. As a solution, we could suggest they simply use incontinence pads at night until someone turns up one day to change them.

They'll have to live on microwave food or just plain toast and tea - they won't have the energy or money to cook. They will be woken up for two or three hours every night and forced to watch the shopping channel.

We won't waste a chance to tell the Daily Mail or Express how they're getting on. We'll remind everyone weekly that they are subjects of suspicion - lazy, workshy layabouts who let us all down.

They won't ever have any spare money for holidays to Ibiza or a nice week skiing in Klosters. No new clothes or nights out, no car or Sky TV. Then we'll tell them there's been a mistake - they acted fraudulently and they need to pay back the pitiful £65.40 a week they've been cheating.

We might take their children away. If they don't manage to turn out shiny, scrubbed, well fed, well dressed little darlings despite their terrible poverty; if they can't manage to look after them properly through the constant pain and despair, we'll threaten them with social services at every opportunity.

They will have to use a wheelchair wherever they go, but first, they'll have to jump through hoops for at least four months to get one in the first place. Until then, they'll just have to stay home. Once they do achieve wheely-mobility, we'll insist they use only public transport to get around and make sure there are as many steps and inaccessible public spaces as possible. Nonetheless, if they manage such daunting challenges, we'll simply classify them as "fully mobile" and take their money away.

Obviously all of this will only show them our lives on the outside. They won't feel our symptoms or understand our pain. We could certainly insist that they ingest the vast numbers of medications we have to take and deal with the myriad side effects that come with them. After all, it wouldn't really be reflective if they too didn't have to battle daily against addiction or dependency and be labelled as junkies or addicts for succeeding.

We can make them wear those weighted suits to give them some idea of the exhaustion many of us feel. They can drag their bloated costumes around every minute of every day, wondering how on earth they're even going to get from the sofa to the toilet.

Except we wouldn't do this would we? Not even for a year. Because despite their best efforts, we're still human. We wouldn't even make politicians live the way they expect us to. It would be cruel, callous, disgusting. It would reduce us to bitter, nasty, thoughtless people with no empathy or compassion.

No. When we win, we'll just set about putting the whole sorry mess straight and making sure that none of them are ever allowed to go anywhere near Westminster or a policy document again. And we'll hope that they never truly know what they've done.

I'm not sure they could live with the shame.

**Spoonies are those who are perhaps more unwell than disabled. Those who struggle with long term, degenerative or progressive conditions. Read more here :


  1. Yep was just thinking; "A year!? Surely a minute is punishment enough." You're so right, though and I believe that one day everything will be made clear to our future generations. After all look at how the Victorians treated their sick and disabled. Time and understanding will move on. I don't know if it will move to the point where complete clarity and understanding is reached, but it will move on and these politicians will HAVE to move on with it.

  2. My God Sue, i've only met you on facebook and yet you;ve written an excellent account of my life there.

  3. Sorry Peter :((

    We're having a twitter party on the subject today!! Just use the hashtag #spoonierevengeparty
    Hope everyone can join in!!!

  4. am on £54 weekly and being well f***** about by the fools

  5. Some party music.

  6. They wouldn't live with the shame. They don't feel any. Taking the moral high ground is the best thing to do, of course, but tbh I probably *would* punish certain people like this, because it's the only way they would ever learn. But then I'm an angry person and I believe in the power of judicious revenge, though I can rarely be bothered to hang on to a grudge for long enough to take it.

    That's the thing about any minority group; from the outside we appear uniform, but we're all individuals with different feelings, different opinions and different ways of dealing with things. That's often forgotten.

    There was a poll done a few years back that found that 50% of the indigenous people of the United States prefer to be called "Native American" and 50% prefer to be called "American Indian". So what's a respectful outsider to do? Ask, of course. Easy. But a possibility so often forgotten.

    Rambling off into philosophy now. I shall stop :)

  7. Jan said...
    "but tbh I probably *would* punish certain people like this, because it's the only way they would ever learn. But then I'm an angry person and I believe in the power of judicious revenge, though I can rarely be bothered to hang on to a grudge for long enough to take it."

    I have to admit when I see sadistic Tory trolls
    online revelling in being cruel towards, demonising and trying to humiliate the sick and disabled and continuing to lie about us even when comprehensively proven wrong and corrected, and when I see government ministers from all three parties doing the same and trying to take what little we have away from us, and trying their best to make our lives as miserable as possible, I can't help but hope they get sick themselves soon. If I had the power to make it happen I would not hesitate to do it. Not nice but it is what it is.

    I once heard Big Youth say "No mercy for the merciless in this time" in a song. That sums up how I feel too.

  8. "The quality of mercy is not strained. It droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven upon the place beneath. It is twice blessed. It blesseth him that gives and him that takes."

    The Bard is never wrong ;)

  9. @Sue

    Spend enough time hanging around on survivor blogs and you find that forgiveness/mercy is one of the most divisive topics amongst the abused. Some people find forgiving necessary and that it helps them, others find it unnecessary and even insulting to themselves, and the split seems to be about 50/50. My inner psychology geek wonders why this is, and I still haven't worked it out. I figure we're all abused at the moment, so it's our prerogative to go with whatever works for us. I'm very happy for you to speak on my behalf, though, cuz I know you'll be nice, which will help. Heh.

  10. Jan - Indeed I will. I've always felt that revenge finds you. Searching it out probably only hurts the person seeking the revenge but those glorious moments where, quite unsuspectingly, you find yourself in a situation where an old enemy looks defeat in the eye and understands exactly what he did to deserve his downfall is sweet indeed.

  11. "Searching it out probably only hurts the person seeking the revenge"

    I have to admit feeling the way I outlined above only seems to hurt me and eat me up inside since I can't do anything about it. I try not to do it for that reason but sometimes when Ian Demon Smith comes on TV.....

  12. I will be sitting there one day, on Newsnight, opposite Paxman with the Pernicious Purnell beside me. He will literally be shaking with misery and shame as Paxman relentlessly pounds him again and again over his terrible abuse of the sick and disabled, while I point out in the clearest terms why he was wrong, cruel and deluded.

    I firmly believe revenge finds you when the time is right ;)

  13. Shame I missed all the Twitter fun last night, though I read back and had a good laugh!

    You know..I don't usually like the idea of revenge and I'm not a vengeful person at all, but I won't shed a tear for all those anti-disabled MPs and Ministers if something horrible happens to them and they have to learn to live life like we do. Being alone most of the time leaves one to daydream often and one sometimes does imagine situations where people like us, people with hearts, overthrow the current regime and institute one based on human kindness, fairness and putting people's happiness before the size of ther wallets.

    It is nice to dream, isn't it?

  14. A year sue only a year none of them would cope not even with my condition of even 3 months if they were lucky. And with a condition like yours they would find even a week to much
    I have known many rich conservatives in my time and they in general always go the suicide route on a long term illness in fact i don't know of anyone who didn't go down that route such is there weakness as human beings

  15. I'd start with paying them the National Minimum Wage and preventing them from holding second jobs except those which ALSO pay only the NMW... but as a special concession they could have the equivalent of a Freedom Pass (for those outside London: this gives free travel on London Buses, Underground, Trams and some overground rail services - some or all of this is subject to time restrictions on different lines.) And go on to what I outlined in

    Except that I wouldn't because I can only do fantasy-revenge/hard-heartedness...


  16. Politicians? Personally I hope they all get hit by a Sunshine Coach...

  17. Jan said...

    "Some people find forgiving necessary and that it helps them, others find it unnecessary and even insulting to themselves, and the split seems to be about 50/50. My inner psychology geek wonders why this is, and I still haven't worked it out."

    I have some ideas.

    Maybe the 50 percent who need to forgive have a low psychological tolerence for hatred and have to forgive their abuser because they find holding onto the hate too psychologically corrosive for them and letting go of the hate by forgiving gives them more inner peace.

    Maybe they feel they can't live as fulfilled life as possible by holding onto hate and anger and they don't want to give their abuser the victory of totally ruining their lives.

    Maybe they think letting go of their anger and hatred by forgiving them eliminates the abuser having any further power over them and their lives.

    Maybe it helps some survivors to minimise their abuser in their mind by seeing them as pitiful creatures not worthy of hating and forgiving them helps with that.

    Maybe the 50 percent who don't forgive have a higher psychological tolerence for living with hate and therefore dont feel the need to forgive. Maybe their lives turned out less successful because of the effects of the abuse than the other 50 percent. They may also feel like they were saying what the abuser did to them was ok if they were to forgive them.

  18. I will never ever wish my illness and disability on anyone. What I do pray for is the politicians start to have some compassion

  19. When Autistics rule the world, I won't wish my disability on them. matter how much they want it.

  20. I wouldn't wish Crohn's like I have on Hitler.

  21. @nanobot

    Ah, this is the kind of analysis I like! I think they're all good ideas. For myself, I would feel arrogant forgiving someone who hasn't asked for it, and of course a genuine apology is extremely rare; the vast majority of abusers will jump through hoops to justify themselves and avoid feeling guilt (hence my first comment I suppose). Also, I gradually think less and less about the things that have happened to me; I can forget without forgiving, and let go without necessarily stopping being angry completely. I think my anger turns into a more general one, directed at all mistreatment everywhere. I try to channel it into helping other victims.

    Anyway, it's all slightly academic, because such thoughts are really relevant to abuse that has ceased, and how the victim makes sense of it afterwards. Disabled people aren't getting much of a chance to become survivors because it's still going on. I guess it's hard to say for sure how I would react given a cessation of hostility.

    @Mason Dixon

    Phnarr! That cheered me up, thank you :)

  22. As the government know what their doing i wish them all the worst life has to offer. It's no good that the sick and disabled people of the UK think that they should be forgiven forgiveness should be strictly reserved for people who make a bad judgement and then go out of their way to rectify it

    Hitler knew what he was doing in the war and Muammar Gaddafi also knows what he is doing to his people likewise David Cameron knows what he's doing and all of them should never be forgiven under any circumstances

    The way i have been treated over the past 30 years by the DWP should in where i am left through the stress they have caused me to look like a prisoner of war victim that in itself should be a serious warning to everyone

    For the way i have been treated i would have them all stand trial in the hague and then executed

  23. @ Jan Thanks. I always find your posts interesting and informative how ever considered a blog of your own?

  24. I know how you feel fourbanks regarding the wanton cruelty of the DWP and the politicians, but regarding Gadaffi, the guy has much blood on his hands; he's not a nice guy but I think there's a lot of misinformation and propaganda about the real situation in Libya being put out by the West.

    David Cameron has shown a willingness to drive the sick and disabled and poor in his own country who are supposed to be his own people into penury and an early grave but we're supposed to believe he cares about the well being of Libyan civilians? I don't buy it.

    Other leaders in the Middle-East region are as bad as or worse that Gadaffi but because they can be controlled by the Western powers there is no intervention. I think it's all about the Oil and other geopolitical interests related to Libya.

  25. It would be funny if it wasnt how we all live, you didnt mention removing the thought of ever feeling like you will get better or have a good day. Oh and to remind them when they are cold and hungry that you will never have enough money ever again to do anything nice, to afford the heating on as much as you want, to have the luxery of buying whatever food you want never mind the unobtainables of holidays, presents, new things for home EVER.

  26. Thankfully I have been spared this sort of forgiveness-beyond-all-sensibility thing of Western paradigms; I was taught it's stupid NOT to seek vengeance of those who wrong you and when someone crosses my path enough times, I acknowledge that I was given sense enough to do something about it. It's usually rather effective.

    So yes, I'll wish some nasty tables to be turned for these folks - I'll wish some serious bad juju on their heads. Forget karma, I AM Karma, and they're only getting what they deserve.

    Glad it managed to produce a laugh on ze twitter though, been in need of those.

  27. @nanobot

    Aaaah, thank you :) that's made my evening. I find it reassuring that you seem to have a similar perspective to mine.

    I've been thinking about a blog, mainly as a place to let off steam. I've written the bare bones of a few posts to get me started; they're all very ranty and seem to contain a huge amount of swearing in with the more sensible stuff. If it comes to anything I'll link it to my name when I comment elsewhere.

  28. "Forget karma, I AM Karma"


  29. Very nice post Sue . It is written without fear and with a lot of passion . I would like to see also the politicians in a prison for the crimes that they committed with the walls of their prison cells covered with the photos of their victims sick and disabled in order to meditate , if they have an once of conscience .
    It is really a misfortune that the death penalty has been abolished at least for the criminal politicians in these cases.
    What we are living is only the illusion of the " democracy " !

  30. "We wouldn't even make politicians live the way they expect us to."

    Speak for yourself mate, I'd put the lot of them in fucking concentration camps.

  31. I'll swap homes with one of them...they can live in my gaff and not be able to fix it and not be able to get help to...

    Oh Mr Camerooony, *slaps leg,* here boy, common, I won't punish you, I know you are ashamed at peeing on the carpet but I won't rub your nose in it, you can lie on it though and I will give you a treat if you ask to go out in the garden for a wee properly without upsetting the neighbours! Common Davey boy....awww are you a little git? Are you, yes you are...*tickles him under the chin as he looks up wide eyed surprised I haven't taken him to the vets to get him done yet.*

    I said that in my head just the way I talk to Joey, I love him though even though he is a git, he has redeeming qualities.

    Sue I had a triumph yesterday...tis all video blogged and on here...smiles and hugs xxx

  32. What we are living is only the illusion of the " democracy " !

    I don't think so, Anonymous. People really do support beating up the sick and poor. Labour just lost its lead...

  33. I think we could do some of this without feeling guilty. Eg making them watch the shopping channel at night. Amnesty International has never issued any statements about this.