I've finally got my laptop back, and despite a list of things I need to write longer than a mile, Louise Mensch has filled me with such fury that they will have to wait.
Through my opiate-vomitty-hospital-bed-haze, I've watched the most nauseating example of womanly-wiles I think I've ever seen. I first noticed menschgate when I saw a tweet from Tim Montgomerie and Dan Hodges, listing examples of "abuse" Louise had suffered online. The tweets weren't very offensive at all - in fact one asked a very sensible question.
I felt feminist stirrings and it'as incredibly rare I discuss feminism at all. Why were these men defending her honour like some medieval chattel? Was she not a successful, powerful woman? Was she unable to take a bit of internet silliness without a shield of chivalry?
I pointed out that stupid, misguided, humour from stupid misguided fools, was not the same as genuine threats. Within minutes, scores of furious Tories flooded my timeline, accusing me of supporting violent attacks!! They were still trying to pick a fight with me hours after my drug addled brain had forgotten who Louise Mensch even was.
Now, what seemed to happen to me, was that Louise Mensch said something totally silly and thousands of people responded by saying "You're really silly." Of all careers, politicians must know that if you're going to say silly things, people will fairly swiftly call you silly.
Those politicians that use the internet regularly and engage on social media (which I admire) are perfectly aware that they will get abuse. I'm a woman. I write abut politics. I chose a male dominated arena to air my opinions. If I am so egotistical that I believe my opinions might be of interest to others, I have no right at all to complain when people disagree with me. When all of twitter disagrees with me at once, I accept that I'm probably wrong. There isn't a switch Ms Mensch. There isn't one big hive-mind that agrees to bully Tory women!! You made a fool of yourself and the world told you so. Deal with it.
But to go on to use the hashtag feminism??? FEMINISM???? When the basis of the argument seems to be "people shouldn't be mean to me because I'm a girl" made my blood boil.
Everyone gets twitter abuse, everyone. If some vitriolic, evil, pimple goes way beyond the boundaries of what's acceptable, you just block them and move on. You don't know these people, they don't have to like you. They don't have to conform to your ideas of what is polite or what isn't, what is funny or what is not. They can't upset you unless you let them. They don't cause offence, we allow ourselves to take it.
Unless we are to believe that Mr Montgomerie and Mr Hodges or even Mr Young have never suffered a wave of twitter abuse for saying something silly??
A while ago, someone threatened Kaliya Franklin with the gas chamber. She's Jewish and disabled. They said they would gas her to death, it was what she deserved. Now that's a genuine threat. The police rightly took it very seriously.
But standing in the playground, stamping one's feet and crying "it's not fair" is just embarrassing. To Ms Mensch, but more importantly to all women who struggle every day to achieve equality. Real equality, not equality-when-it-suits-us. Life isn't fair and most people over 12 have learnt this. Most women learnt it much earlier than that.
So no Louise, people didn't insult you because you're a woman, they insulted you because you're silly. Pleading special treatment because you have a uterus fills me with disgust.