Sorry, I don't speak Disabled

You can take our wheelchairs, you can take our security, you can take our mobility, but you will never take our libraries!!!! http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/campaign-grows-against-cuts-that-would-shut-375-libraries-2187030.html

Actually I'm delighted to see people standing up for reading. Free access to books is one of the great levellers in our society and I'm proud every time I see a library, but WHY do the papers jump to write about these things so eagerly when sick and disabled people are literally having their dignity stripped away? http://diaryofabenefitscrounger.blogspot.com/2011/01/to-mainstream-uk-media.html

You can't move for articles in the mainstream press today about a rising campaign in library-saving.

An online campaign this weekend to highlight the horrors disabled people are facing got tens of thousands of hits, hundreds of personal testimonials were submitted, the bloggers were swamped with it, but the nationals? The TV channels? Zippo, just a few online stories from the Guardian (for which we ARE eternally grateful but come on!!!) http://onemonthbeforeheartbreak.blogspot.com/

This could be any of us. If you go blind, you won't have much use for printed books. If you can't get out of the house and become bedridden, then discover they've cancelled care packages for someone like you, a library won't be much good to you. If you break your back, but find there's no rehab or hospice care any more, I can't imagine you feeling libraries were the most vital thing in your day. Disability can call for any one of us at any time in a heartbeat and life changes instantly. A good book to read might make it better, but a physio or adapted wheelchair would probably be more useful!!!

I'm perplexed. Is it that childbirth thing? The minute it's over you forget? Is that how it is with being sick? Is there some woolly-mammoth-era gene that simply will not allow us to believe that we could ever be less than physically perfect? Is disability or dreadful illness just something that happens to "someone else"? Do we have a blind faith in our own immortality that won't allow us to accept that cancer or kidney failure or paralysis could ever come knocking for us?

I'm delighted actually, to see campaigns up and down the country standing up for what they feel is a cut too far. When the good people of Stony Statford took all 16,000 books from their Library to protest it's closure, I tweeted it as my favourite activism story of all time. When the students got off their beanbags and slouched into action, I was astounded, but delighted. http://diaryofabenefitscrounger.blogspot.com/2010/11/free-cannabis-for-students.html

I just want - we want - someone to care about the "most vulnerable in society" like they said they would. It was supposed to be a line in the sand, an unbreakable promise. Fairness was to be "hardwired into the CSR." For some reason, though I have no idea why, when it comes to sickness and disability, everyone seems to have their fingers in their ears at the moment chanting "We can't hear you, we can't hear you"

Or as my friend put it in a terribly mock-patronising voice (you know the one, a little too loud, a little too slow, face a little close to yours...) "Oh, I'm sorry, I don't speak disabled."

Damned if we do, Damned if we don't

There will always be trolls. (Oh no, just typing the word usually drags two or three from their under-bridge semis.)

You could write that the world will end in 4 minutes and someone will post "4 Minutes? 4 MINUTES? Like I give a bleep you bleeping lazy scrounging bleep. Get a life or die or something. Bleep"

**For what it's worth, trolls are best dealt with through humour. Thanking them for their wisdom annoys them massively too. Most of all, NEVER, EVER feed them. A shadow of anger, a twinge of resentment or (God forbid) a rant of disgust, will just ensure trolldom stalks you forever more. Making a joke about their lack of smarts, small appendages or billy-no-mates lack of social graces will suffice. If your jokes are particularly good, they have been known to self destruct in a spluttering, choking mess of bile. (You can even play the troll game. 10 points for inducing foul language, 20 points if you make them cry and a full 50 for bile splurting self-destruction. Shall we start a league?)

Anyway, a recent curmudgeon prompted much thought amongst us sickies. Are we damned whatever we do?

If we’re humble, we’re victims
If we’re angry, we’re aggressive


If we’re sarcasticly witty (Broken of Britain, Diary of a Benefit Scrounger) We’re still victims


If we’re actively engaged, we ought to get a job
If we aren’t actively engaged, we’re lazy.


We're Damned by the government if we don't work,
Slam-dunked by our conditions if we do.

If we argue, we’re whingeing
If we accept we’re….. yep you guessed it…… victims!!


If we smile too much, we must be fine
If we cry too much we're attention seeking.


If we're glamorous, we ought to be dowdy
If we're dowdy, we ought to be glamorous.


If we're fat we eat too much
If we're thin we ought to eat more.


If we're too clever, we make enemies, 
If we're too deprecating, we might as well be invisible. 


Actually, it's just occurred to me we're a bit like Victorian Laydeez, waiting for the benevolent Government-Darcy to notice us and relent.


Whatever happens, never, ever buy a flatscreen telly/pair of designer shoes/holiday to Morocco or  bottle of champagne. The howls of "taxpayers money" "Oh, they give those out on the state now do they" and "filthy robbing cow" will spoil your breakfast. 


So I say unto you "Rejoice, for a troll doth mean your voice rises against the noise of blah, soaring to prickle and poketh the consciences of men" The more you have, the closer you are to a breakthrough. As the quote at the bottom of my blog says,


"First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win."
Mahatma Gandhi

Guest Post by Sue Davies - PTSD in Chronic illness/Disability

As regular readers will know, I just spent quite some time in hospital. An incredibly intelligent political commentator I knew had become a great supporter, both of my writing and through my health challenges.

At some particularly traumatic times, I wrote sentences that sparked a discussion on Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. I had been diagnosed the day before I went into hospital and the doctor had explained to me that my (dare I say rather Tory?....) “Pull yourself up by the bootstraps” attitude had probably made it worse. He described the memories of trauma related to a very long term condition as being like a box of old letters. You keep putting them in and closing the lid, but in the end, it's just too full and the lid keeps pinging open when you least expect it. Mentally, a kind of "You can run, but you can't hide."

Anyway, some of the things Sue Davies explained were like Eureka! moments for me. "I'm not going bonkers" "Oh, blimey, I do that" and "Yes, yes, that's exactly what happens" bonding took place, and with great generosity, Sue agreed to write the following post, explaining why she believes PTSD is probably very common (yet largely unrecognised) in those with long term illness or disability. 

I hope it helps some of you as it helped me. 

"Sue M. is a very unusual person - not just for all the obvious reasons – she has been diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) as a direct result of being traumatized by her illness.  I know from my work, that PTSD is common amongst those with long-term illness or disability but few have been diagnosed by the medical profession.

Clearly there is a tangible risk of developing PTSD for these groups.  Many sufferers will have usefully learnt to ‘dissociate’ from their physical pain/difficulties and this predisposes them to developing full blown PTSD symptoms.  Furthermore, many sufferers will have been faced with intense fear, helplessness, a threat to physical integrity and/or mortal consequences… all diagnostic criteria for PTSD.

However, the consequence of non-diagnosis is that sufferers are usually bewildered by what is happening to them, and therefore, do not know how to help themselves when they find themselves in the panic. The short answer is that the sufferer has learnt to separate thinking and feeling, and experiences either an unreal numbing or a panic in response to stimuli associated with the trauma … and this response is absolutely normal.  It is the trauma which is all wrong!

Sue’s posting ‘There’s no such word as can’t.’ gives a vivid account of many typical features of a PTSD panic attack. 

http://diaryofabenefitscrounger.blogspot.com/2010/11/theres-no-such-word-as-cant.html 

‘Seemingly randomly, an image of some dreadful living nightmare would pop into my mind unbidden, and I'd struggle to breathe. My hands would go clammy, my heart would race and I'd feel a scream welling up in my lungs, thumping against my chest to be let out. I could be cooking the dinner or waiting for a bus and suddenly, a sound or a smell would trigger a memory and I'd feel like I was there again, back in that particular moment of terror.’

 In the panic attack phase, thinking is almost totally excluded and the emotions are overwhelming  - ‘I sit like an imbecile, rocking, unable to explain why I was behaving so oddly’.  In stark contrast, there is a cutting out/reducing of physical discomfort during the ‘numbing’ phase and a sense of almost unreal calm, simply observing the sensations …. as is horrifyingly demonstrated by Sue’s quote from “I just nearly died.”  

http://diaryofabenefitscrounger.blogspot.com/2010/11/i-just-nearly-died.html 

‘I watch myself, with cool detachment rush along the hall. I stop gagging, I stop choking. I feel calm and just march. The lift is not there and I see her push the button to summon it down. I am dying and she is making we wait for a lift. Somewhere deep, deep inside me, I think I even find that funny.’ 

This ‘separation’ of thinking and feeling involves that part of the brain, the amygdala, which orchestrates the flight/fight/freeze response. The amygdala compares and contrasts, such that any ‘sloppy’ match with a stimulus from a previous trauma acts like a hypnotic trigger.

The reaction to such a trigger takes only 13 milliseconds. In contrast, it takes 300 milliseconds for the information to become conscious. In that 287 millisecond time-lag, neurotransmitters flood the frontal cortex to ensure that you remain totally focused on the perceived threat, your BP changes, blood floods from the internal organs to the muscles and your breathing rate, heart rate and gut become desynchronized. These changes produce the physical experiences of panic and, unless one is able utilize these changes by discharging them in ‘getting away' from the stimulus (fight or flight) one becomes ‘locked’ (freeze) feeling the panic which then becomes self-reinforcing in a positive feedback loop.

Unfortunately this is where our biology and the modern world do not match up. The thinking/observing phase is clearly of evolutionary advantage in getting away from predators or danger. There are stories of people holding up 3 ton lorries to rescue another or soldiers carrying on, not knowing that they've been seriously hurt.... this part of dissociation is the ‘numbing’ bit that facilitates fight and flight. 



The panic phase is associated with 'freezing' which occurs when an animal cannot ‘fight or flee’ to a safe place. In addition to more obviously traumatizing events, sufferers of many illnesses cannot get away from pain (until/unless they can get pain relief) and this is equivalent to being unable to get to a ‘safe place’. They may also feel trapped by being unable to avoid necessary treatments, or by the limitations of their physical/emotional disability.  It is also often difficult for a sufferer to express anger to their carers (such as nurses) because they are nervous that they might be 'abandoned'…. and it is a pretty frightening thought that you will have to do whatever ‘they’ want because you are ‘trapped’ by being vulnerable and dependent on them! 

The amygdala is different from our other brain processing pathways in that it takes the raw data straight from the first pooling station, the thalamus. Hence it has the much faster response time than the conscious brain.  This is fantastic in terms of responding to danger but means that there is no comprehensible 'train of thought'. Sufferers are often unaware of their triggers, and their ‘panic’ reaction appears, as Sue says ‘Seemingly randomly’.  Trauma memories are not the same as ordinary ones - the perception is that ‘they just come’.  However, they are not ‘random’ memories but evoked by the trigger which has not been noticed as a conscious experience because of the rapid reaction of the amygdala.  In other words, the vivid flashbacks are also mediated by the amygdala  - not the ordinary memory system - and can be experienced as having a different quality from other memories, or as if they are actually happening in the ‘here and now’.   

So the first steps in deconditioning the PTSD response is to identify and understand what triggers and situations are likely to induce the panic/numbing response in you. As Sue says these triggers may be smells, noises, sights, situations or almost anything else which is associated with your personal trauma(s).  I think the most important thing is to take your panicky feelings seriously... no-one ever feels anything for no reason.  You are not crazy/making a fuss/being unreasonable etc. Your reaction is just the normal hard-wiring of your brain, which in pre-history was the difference between the human race surviving or not. ‘Knowing’ and 'Parenting' yourself is the way forward.

Many PTSD sufferers instinct is to persistently avoid triggers, to ignore their body's warning signals or anniversaries, to avoid talking about the trauma or confronting anything associated with it - but perversely this avoidance tends to re-inforce the reaction partly because the sufferer gets taken unawares. Any of the sufferer’s triggers can stimulate the automatic response.  De-conditioning the response requires knowingly re-experiencing the hypnotic triggers at a much less toxic level, and to attach the new understanding to the memories which the conscious brain drags up to explain our reaction.  It is important to stay on the ‘affective edge’ which means keeping your thinking and feeling together whilst being in contact with a trigger.

A good way to reduce the impact of a hypnotic trigger is to 'change' it as much as you can. For example, if it is a particular smell such as the ward.  Put some Lavender oil or cloves in a handkerchief to alter the smell.  Get as ‘grounded’ as possible…. talk yourself through the expected procedure prior to exposing yourself to a trigger and think about how you want to deal with each aspect.  Find a grounding object – your watch, a button, a photo– take it with you and touch it whenever you feel the panickyness, to remind you that you are quite safe now, that you are reacting to the past and that this time is different.



Grade how you are feeling each step of the way – 0 being no worries, 10 being the worst – because this is a conditioned reflex you cannot just eradicate the reaction by understanding alone.  You de-condition it by experiencing it in a controlled safe way.  Anything below a 5 will tend to reduce, and eventually eradicate, your future reaction, but give yourself permission to stop immediately if you experience more than a 5.  Keep reminding yourself that your amygdala is just doing its best to keep you safe but in this instance, it is an inappropriate  response because you are secure. 

Lastly, you are much less likely to have a PTSD panic if you are as well as possible, happy and pain-free.  So make it a rule, wherever possible, to get enough sleep, food and keep yourself  hydrated.  Ideally, create structure, stimulation and recognition for yourself and from others … not always easy I know.   I would also tell an empathetic friend/relative/member of staff what you’re experiencing and de-brief… unfortunately most people tend to be uninformed about PTSD  so you’ll be doing them a favour by explaining, and they may have some helpful ideas.



Finally there is loads of information in self help books, online and from therapists of all sorts… but I hope that just knowing that you are not weird, over-reacting or crazy, helps too!"

Guest Post, Written by Sue Davies
**Do please share with anyone you know who's been ill for a long time and feel free to share link with Sickness or Disability support Groups who might find it useful.

Where are all the Politicians?

It’s Sunday! We’re all exhausted, but the response to “One Month Before Heartbreak” (OMBH) has been astonishing.  http://onemonthbeforeheartbreak.blogspot.com/ I don’t think there’s a blog or charity website or anti-cuts group that haven’t posted a link to one of our stories, or written about the impending DLA cuts.

One month before Heartbreak has achieved great, great things. Tens of thousands of people have read our stories, and not just other disabled people, but across the entire web, In my own bizarre and ever entertaining stats, I have been randomly taken to heart by a tattoo site, a knitting site, a forum for discussing films and a group of football fans.

But still no politicians.

Every day, we write. We tweet, we phone, we sign petitions and using our weapon-words, we plead with them to get in touch. I speak for myself, but not one has yet replied.

Labour bought in the terrifying Employment Support Allowance with its demeaning assessments and its “unfit for purpose” design. Now the Conservative led coalition will abolish Disability Living Allowance altogether too, replacing it with “PIPs” and reducing the eligibility by up to 25% along the way. I can’t think of a corner of our lives they’re leaving alone, with changes to work programmes, eligibility, housing entitlement, care packages, work guidelines, education provision and hospital care. Yet the opposition say nothing. When the ESA changes were first announced in the CSR, time limiting ESA to one year in the grossest act of betrayal I can remember from any government, it was the only policy area that Labour felt comfortable to immediately support. Douglas Alexander said this in his response,

"Pathways to Work, using the private and voluntary sector to provide back to work support, with payment by results...and proposals such as; reforming the DLA gateway, continuing the IB to ESA transition and continuing to drive down fraud (and).... a role for private and voluntary providers. Funding based on outcomes not processes.....Virtually everyone on benefits should be on an active journey towards work."

(Full analysis here : http://diaryofabenefitscrounger.blogspot.com/2010/11/take-time-to-listen-and-learn-douglas.html )

The other, Lib Dem Alexander, Orange Danny, used to be a fierce advocate of the sick and disabled.

“The Scottish Secretary has warned hundreds of thousands of sick people may be wrongly forced back to work under reforms designed to reduce Britain’s £171 billion annual welfare bill.

Danny Alexander also claimed the benefits system may be brought “close to meltdown” by tens of thousands appealing rulings they are no longer eligible for state support.

Although his comments were made before the general election, sources close to Mr Alexander said that he remains concerned and would be lobbying Cabinet colleagues”

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/politics/7768597/Danny-Alexander-hits-out-at-welfare-reforms.html

Sadly, that would be just before he got that top treasury job slashing those very same benefits still further. Not a peep since.

And Mr Cameron. We really thought he would understand. He has genuine experience of profound disability and all the challenges and extra pressures it involves. When he gave this interview to the Independent in 2009, it was clear he knew exactly what was wrong with the system and he pledges to change it in ways that sick and disabled people found quite impressive http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/david-cameron-the-five-lessons-i-learned-as-father-of-disabled-child-ndash-and-intend-to-put-into-practice-1748274.html

“The second lesson was that life for parents of disabled children is complicated enough without having to jump through hundreds of government hoops. After the initial shock of diagnosis you're plunged into a world of bureaucratic pain. Having your child assessed and getting the help you're entitled to means answering the same questions over and over again, being buried under snow drifts of forms, spending hours on hold in the phone queue.

I am determined to make life simpler for parents. One option we're looking at is inspired by something they're doing in Austria. There a crack team of medical experts – doctor, nurse, physio – act as a one-stop-shop to assess families and get them the help they need.....

.....Because we can never forget what an amazing job they do. Just consider what it would mean if the army of parents and carers in this country gave up, packed up, said they couldn't cope any more. The financial cost of looking after those children would be immense”

Reading that article now is shameful, every promise, every insight forgotten the minute that key to No.10 finally fell into his hands.

**     **     **     **     **     **     **     **     **     **

“But why?” you ask. “Why do they all treat you this way?”

Well, the entire system is based on two flawed assumptions. In the 80s, with unemployment spiralling out of control, Maggie needed a way to massage the figures. In no time at all, the figures of people claiming Incapacity Benefit (now ESA) more than trebled from around 700,000 to 2.5 Million. It went “under the radar” if people were declared unfit for work instead of claiming unemployment benefit.

During the entire period Labour was in office, the figure barely changed, hovering around that two and a half million mark. “Eureka!” Exclaimed James Purnell, uber-Blairite, and the succession of clones that followed him “They can all work! They were never sick in the first place!”

Sadly, it never seems to have occurred to his reformist mind that the NHS circa 1985 is a very different place to the NHS of 2011. Survival rates for serious illness have soared, medication has been revolutionised compared with over 3 decades ago. Children born prematurely survive earlier and earlier with all the complications that can sometimes involve. Surgical procedures are unrecognisable with new ways of treating conditions discovered almost daily. Gradually, Maggie’s forgotten 1.75 million found jobs or died and were replaced by new claimants, the miracle by-products of a medical revolution. The tests are now so tough to claim sickness or disability support, the forms so arduous the checks so rigorous, that fraud is actually remarkably low – less than 1% according the DWP’s own figures.

The other flawed assumption, is that we don’t want to work, we need urging and coercing. Well, we do want to work. For most of us, the day we had to give up our ambitions and dreams was the worst of our lives.  –

There are schemes that can help. I’ll be talking about them at length on my own blog, http://diaryofabenefitscrounger.blogspot.com over the coming weeks before “Heartbreak”, but on the whole, politicians show a breathtaking lack of understanding about illness and disability. They only ever really mention those with physical impairments such as blindness and paraplegia. They never consider how one might possibly hold down a job with the symptoms of a full blown illness or a devastating mental condition. More to the point, they never consider who will employ us! With our vomit bowls and syringes and blackouts and seizures, do they really think an army of employers are just waiting to take us eagerly into the workplace?

Still no matter. Every last scrap of evidence shows that their schemes are unfit for purpose, http://www.informedcompassion.com/compass%20long%20version%20thinkpiece%202910.pdf  that ESA and DLA reform are causing considerable distress, that “assessors” aren’t qualified to make decisions about who can and can’t work with 35% of decisions going to appeal and around 70% of those appeals being upheld.

But at a time when unemployment is creeping towards 3 million, let’s press ahead with making 2.3 million of the 2.6 million (91%!!!) who claim ESA unemployed too! And hang it, let’s add 750,000 or so of the most profoundly ill too, by “assessing” DLA all over again.

They can’t do much about it, after all.

But, as OMBH has shown, we can. And this time, we will.

http://onemonthbeforeheartbreak.blogspot.com/

You will NEVER take away my shoes

Do you know how brave this site is? http://onemonthbeforeheartbreak.blogspot.com/

We all know it who have posted here. We all know that by writing too well, or too often or too scathingly, we put ourselves at risk. Some of us will be or are being "investigated". Some of us will simply lose our sickness or disability benefits, which could mean losing our independence or even our homes. 

Despite this culture of fear we are living in, just look at these stories! Could you honestly read through them all without feeling astonished at the state of our care of and attitudes towards the sick and disabled?

If you are one of the mercenaries hired by the ATOS monopoly to prove we've all been cheating all along, you can watch me if you like. Take your pictures, twitch the curtain, send me forms and summon me to assessments. Doubt me, judge me, even try to take away my dignity, but you will NEVER take away my shoes. 

If I have to use a wheelchair, then surely it's time for the 8 inch hooker heels? (Electric-blue satin with never ending chrome spike heels. If I can't walk anyway...) If I feel like wearing fake-fur and ripped leggings I will. I will wear red lipstick and paint my nails gold. If I want to go to dinner with friends and sip cocktails and nibble tapas and pretend, just for once, that I won't pay for it dearly later, then I will. I don't do hair shirts and self-denial.  

If I have a rare good day, amongst the searing pain and endless vomiting and I want to dance, then I will dance. Joyously, because I know that joy is fleeting. If it puts me on the floor, I will still dance, because I am free. You can't tell me never to dance. 

If you follow me walking my kids home from school one day you might see me chase them, giggling until we fall in the crunchy piles of autumn leaves. Will you see the wince I try to hide as we carry on home? Will you notice my six year old take my arm because he's already learnt what giggle-chases cost me? But I vow to chase my kids whenever it might not kill me.

If I see your hypocrisy clearly, I will write about it with scorching fire.  I will tweet from a hospital bed, with my drips and my bleeps and my needles and tubes. Read it if you like, you might learn something. Writing is all I have then - did it ever occur to you I can dictate? 

At weddings, I will wear a hat. An enormous, wide brimmed, floppy hat, with freesias stitched into the brim. I will hold my head high, push my shoulders back, paint on a dazzling smile and sip champagne. Life and soul for the hour or two life and soul is required. But will you see me when the mask slips? When my soul can’t cover for my life any longer?

I can transform, butterfly-like with expensive skincare and will-power. The grey, clammy, puffy little face you know will emerge, glowing and radiant, my eyes sparkling, my hair shiny. Like Cinderella, the sheen will fade by midnight, but you might not notice, busy as you are marvelling at “how well I look.”

One warm, summer afternoon, when the breeze feels like silk, I will take a motorbike ride with my husband, racing through hazel lined lanes across the rolling South Downs. I will gulp in pleasure and live a year in those few, adrenaline-fuelled hours. I will pull off my crash helmet, shaking my hair and laughing at life. I wonder if you'll remember how little my life normally gives me to laugh at?

So, whatever money, or security or comfort you try to take from me, all those other things are mine. Chronic illness takes away almost everything you ever took for granted - ambition, spontaneity, careless energy, dreams, independence - sometimes even love. When any of those things come fleetingly within my grasp, I will grab them. 


Wearing an Elvis print mini-dress with pink polka dot Jimmy Choos. 


**Once again, please share/link/tweet - I don't care where, the more people read these One Month Before Heartbreak posts, the better. Yes, you can copy and paste it into emails, yes you can send it to your MP. In particular, perhaps I can ask you to send this to high profile women via Twitter and Facebook? On Twitter with the hashtag #ombh. We need friends in high places who are prepared to support us. 

Even I Hesitate...

I love a bit of hyperbole, me.

A cathartic, Bevanite satire or a passionate rant.

Yet, there are certain things more eagle eyed readers may notice I've avoided. There are cheap shots to be had here, in the world of Disability campaigning and I shy away from them.

At the same time, history could tell us much today, if we only listened. If we went back to the early thirties, when MacDonald and Snowden insisted cuts were the only way out of recession, paving the way for the greatest depression in modern history, we might feel differently about the current austerity programme. Blair might have re-read Bevan's great speech to the house on Suez to remember that one ought to have a damn good reason to go to war.

So it is in this article:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/ouch/fact/the_holocaust_and_disabled_people_faq_frequently_asked_questions.shtml

I hesitate, as I don't need to use such a graphic example to highlight modern day cuts to the sick and disabled that are already easy enough to oppose. That's not what I'm doing here.

At the same time, when health allows, I love to go canvassing or phone banking or sit at Labour street stalls, and polling stations, and I know well that most people have lives to live. They don't read 1931 Hansard snippets or have a PHD in economics or history. They go to work, they pay the bills, they struggle to get by and have any time left to spend with the kids. One can only assume history won't repeat if you're confident that each and every person knows what that history is. The atrocities in the article above took place in the early thirties too and economic meltdown and early fascism were close bedfellows.

So, again, in 2011 we face swingeing cuts and "tough choices." We teeter on the brink of a world depression and Keynesian stimulus has given way to monetarist, neo-liberal dogma. So, without ever suggesting our own coalition are even the same species as the early fascists, it may just be timely to remind the world - whether right wing crazy-men, shooting congresswomen in Arizona or assassins in Pakistan -  what unfettered ignorance can conceal, what "turning a blind eye" can countenance and what short memories allow.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ik4f1dRbP8
Proof hate and ignorance can thrive in dreadful times.

A Question Disabled People often ask.....

Very, very busy today with the terrific success of the One Month Before Heartbreak campaign today. A huge thank you to all of you who Tweeted  @ #ombh, Facebooked. Linked, Blogged and RTed. http://onemonthbeforeheartbreak.blogspot.com
If you haven't had a chance to read the posts yet, treat yourself to a glass of wine later and enjoy, they are some of the best thing's I've ever read.

A particular thank you to Sunny Hundal, from Liberal Conspiracy who never fails t give space to this issue. http://liberalconspiracy.org/2011/01/14/why-the-sick-and-disabled-will-feel-the-full-force-of-the-cuts-in-a-months-time/ I'm not sure he realises how much of a difference it makes.

Anyway, the title refers to something I just rediscovered dealing with the vast amount of correspondence and help offered from people around the blogosphere.

I'm a sucker for musicals and I adore Evita. If you hate Madonna, just skip to 2 minutes 50, but I recommend the whole clip, it's fantastic. Eva Peron has bowel cancer and at the end, she falls down in frustration calling,

""Oh, what I'd give for a hundred years,
But the physical interferes,
Every day more.

Oh my creator..

What is the use of the strongest heart?
In a body that's falling apart
A serious flaw. 

I hope You know that."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gC-l9aluDKw&feature=fvsr

Oh do I know how she feels......

**Far be it from me to suggest Eva could almost be reading a Nick Clegg speech.......