"Now then, Settle down, Right then, Cripples, over here on the left. No, no, sorry, we had to take that 2.5 billion from you, to pay for the cut in business taxes. I know, I know, they make a lot of profit already, but they were very good to us during the election campaign."
"Unemployed? That's it, over here. Now, we've had to cut rather a lot more jobs I'm afraid, so it's looking a teeny bit less likely you'll find anything any time soon, and we don't see any need for those tiresome "back to work" schemes or (God forbid) guaranteed work places for young people either. We're all in this together now, blitz spirit, chin up. Still, just to help, we'll cut your benefits by 10% if you haven't found work in a year, OK? Good."
"Right, any poor working types? You? Good, good, over here please. Now, I'm afraid we need to cut your housing benefit and move you out of Knightsbridge and Islington. You see, there are quite a few rich people who were jolly supportive and they just can't find anywhere for the nanny to live in Westminster, you do understand? Excellent."
"Now Mum's-to-be. We just can't afford that maternity grant any more - we need the money to give to some terribly energetic parents who want to start a school. They propose to ban poor children and teach elocution! It really is dreadfully innovative. We need to take the Child Trust Fund money too, but for Goodness Sake! As if £250 helps anyone! Barely get you dinner at the Ivy! They won't even miss it."
"Teachers? Now, I know there were going to be some rather gloomy state schools built, but Vodafone are in a spot of bother with their tax, and, well, we've got sooooo many of these dreary non-grammar's already. They need the 6 Billion much more than you, there really is No Alternative."
"Anyone from the arts? (Shifty lot of lefties, Dave) Yes, sorry, but we're done with you, off you go now. Oh, except you Emin, you came to a few jollies and gave that awfully supportive interview to the Times if I recall? Dave, get your wallet out, buy one of her, erm, installation thingies."
"So, who's left, let me see, Oh yes, Workers. Now I know during the election we said that silly NI rise Labour wanted to bring in was frightful - tax on jobs and all that - well I'm afraid if we're going to let the big companies like Marks and Spencer and Top Shop off, (They were dreadfully kind, writing all those letters to the Telegraph and persuading their customers to vote for us) we still need you to pay your bit. Oh and we're putting VAT up. And freezing benefits."
"You see nasty old Labour spent all the money (Dave, psst, we are still using that one are we?) Bankers? Jolly good chaps, wouldn't be an economy without them. What do you mean it all started in America? THERE IS NO ALTERNATIVE I tell you!! Yes, Germany and France and Italy and well, some places are going through a bit of a rough patch, but not like here! We're on the brink of bankruptcy I say! Didn't you realise? Labour spent all the money LABOUR SPENT ALL THE MOOOOONNNNNEEEEYYYYY!"
*George is taken for a little sit down at this point while Dave hands out nice flat caps to all the chaps and aprons to the ladies. A Big Society Corp matron appears to give all the children a nice spoon of cod liver oil and hand out brochures for the lovely new Workhouse units opening in Slough and Crawley and Glasgow.
"Just one more thing.... (George has a rather worrying twitch over his right eye now and his Eton quiff is flapping wildly about the place) The BBC. Where are you? I know you're there??? Ah, Simpson, Alagiah, Husain, Wark, Paxman. We warned you! If you didn't start seeing things the Murdoch way, it would be curtains for you. It was all going so frightfully well during the election, what with the dear old Telegraph and Times, The Mail, Sky News and even those comics for the thickoes, (what are they again Dave?) Oh yes the News of the World and the Sun. We warned you, but you kept droning on about impartiality and a free press. Well, your deliciously shafted now!"
Spot on Sue.
ReplyDeleteWe just need to convince another 6-8% of the Electorate who do not currently support Labour of the wisdom of your argument and show these fools in the coalition the door...
I'm disabled and I've spent 46 years in the labour party, I even met and spoke to Nye Bevan before he died, I've met most of the Labour party in my time. I left labour two years ago when Brown came out with stopping DLA for everyone, not just those in a home, he was adamant it was a wasted benefit.
ReplyDeleteIt was labour that kept the benefit rises down so low each year it was a cut or do you forget the 75p rise that great socialist Blair came out with, whom was it that coined the words benefit scroungers, work shy. I asked to see the COOP manifesto and I had it to day guess what! not a single word about welfare disabled or disability, lots about going green and getting back to work.
Ed Miliband told the Tories yes we can back some of the cuts, we will also back the Tories welfare reforms.
So backing Labour tell me pray what the hell for, they would do the same as the Tories, it was labour that put in place the medicals for ESA.
Did you know that Labours disability group has not met for well over ten years.
Robert - It's true and it's disgusting. I spent 2 years lobbying Labour about this. The "Disabilities" minister didn't even answer me.
ReplyDeleteNonetheless, if my party forget who they ought to be helping, who they should be speaking up for, I will remind them. Given the two main parties, I know who I think I can persuade to see the error of their ways.
Labour say they will change, that they made mistakes. Well, they sure did - I didn't recognise them in the ESA travesty - and they'd better think again quickly. Disabled people aren't going to stay quiet any more.
I've steeled myself to visit, as a right wing friend, Ken, told me not to be such a wimp.
ReplyDeleteI think your strongest point is about NI (not directly related to benefits of course).
The 'tax on jobs' hike was much to prefer over a higher tax on spending, VAT.
I believe people on benefits or low incomes would have gained more from Darling's proposals, as although it is stated they gain less than rich people on lower VAT, this fatuous argument ignores the fact that what rich people gain or lose is not material to the gain for lowwer earners.
Not only that but a measure favourable to spending gives the econmy a boost that at least affords the tax gatherer an opportunity to be more generous on benefits, even if they turn out to be mean and spend it on foreign wars instead.
And Nick (the other one) Robinson, who went to Cambridge and was Treasurer of the Cn group when little Nicky joined, and Laura Kinsthingy will be ideal to run the bbc arm of sky tv.
ReplyDeleteLabour conference: Miliband’s tacit approval for welfare reforms
ReplyDeleteLabour’s new leader has resisted the opportunity to criticise the coalition government over its incapacity benefit (IB) reforms.
In his set-piece speech to the conference in Manchester, Ed Miliband said that many people were in “genuine fear” about the “impact” of the new work capability assessment (WCA).
But he said IB reform was “one of the hardest issues for our party” and there was “a minority” of people who had become trapped in the benefits system, which was “not in their interests or the interests of us as a society, and we are right when we say it must be challenged”.
He said: “Reforming our benefits system must not be about stereotyping everybody out of work. It must be about transforming their lives.”
He said he would “look closely” at the coalition government’s plans for benefit reform that he hoped would be “not arbitrary cuts to benefits but a genuine plan to make sure that those in need are protected and that those who can work have the help in order to do so”.
Miliband also told the conference that he would not “oppose every cut the coalition proposes”.
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The sad part is of course the work shy insults and the frauds came from labour, labour did use the BBC as a political tool and now the Tories will use it. The scrounger benefit cheats program were the one way labour could prove to the publc we are all cheating the system.
Two young soldiers one who lost both legs have lost benefits for daring to walk again.
A person with Parkinson's and a triple bye pass gets told your fit mate.
should we be worried oh yes we should, but at the moment we have the appeals process, how long this will last is difficult to say, it will be changed thats for sure.
Labour Tory Tory labour both the same package.
Sue.......I don't think that Ally Campbell's support for your site is particularly helpful, his image is tarnished...he supported, Robert Maxwell, Iraq, dodgy dossier, hounding of David kelly, and, I could of course, cite more of his dubious activities, high profile yes, but you're judged by the company you keep.
ReplyDeleteI do agree Robert!! It's a disgrace. That's why I'm blogging about it on the internet - if I can't trust Labour to speak for us, then we have to remind Labour who they are.
ReplyDeleteHoward - Why steeled yourself, is it all too depressing? Good old Ken, lol
Yes Ken, but you're a Tory. He's my number one politics guy.
ReplyDeleteKen,
ReplyDeleteLike Sue, I think AC is exceptionally good and sharp, and his political antenna is second to none.
Most people who don't like him are those who quite frankly are Tories, who spent years coming out second best to him.
Might I add that as far as I know, every enquiry on Iraq so far has completely cleared AC of any wrong doing. Most items on list of things he has done wrong are 100% politically motivated and 100% subjective.
Of course, the blues have a media man of unblemished character don't they ;-)
Well well, Mr K, I like the cut of your gib!!
ReplyDeleteMr K V Blue K, lol.
As an aside, I truly despaired of poor Gordon. I think he was a good man but a PR DISASTER. I lost count of the "head in hand" moments I had pre 2010. Suddenly everything changed. Gordon started saying what I hoped he would, he did really well on Piers Morgan. I found out later that it was literally to the day when AC came back to help.
If there was a level playing field, I might agree with Ken, but there's NOT. Sir Bernard had been spinning for the Tories for years and the press did the rest. AC came along (with a little help from my other favourite, the Dark Prince) and managed to contain the vast Tory media machine for a good ten years.
As Mr K says, his political antennae were second to none.
Oh, and Ken, he has over 47,000 followers on Twitter, not bad in the support stakes! ;)
ReplyDeleteYou all seem to share an existence which revolves around trying to extract money from others.
ReplyDeleteDoes it occur to you that your precious Labour party does not give a sh*t about you? They p*ssed away billions that could have gone to the deserving - are you that? - and now a new government has to pick up the pieces. What do you do? Whine, whine, whine.
Enjoy your afflictions. He works in mysterious ways, indeed.
Richard,
ReplyDeleteIt is good to know that generosity to others is alive and well....
Mr K,
ReplyDeleteDoes it occur to you that it is very, very easy to be 'generous' with other people's money?
The vast gobs of OPM (Other. People's. Money) that was spunked around by your beloved Labour had nothing to do with generosity.
If you want to see how 'generous' people are, remove all benefits. Let all those righteous, worthy Labourites fund the worthy causes from their own worthy pockets, rather than mine.
THERE is your 'generosity'. Enjoy.
@RICHARD
ReplyDeleteIt's not other people's money. It's taxpayer's money. Labour voters are tax payers too. The taxpayers vote for the party they wish to see spend it. The party which gets the most votes wins.
It's called democracy.
If you don't want a government that collects taxes off you and does nothing to help anyone, move to Somalia.
Mr K.....If you support AC and PM, you support the principle of the end justifying the means, ergo, you are a Tory, welcome to the real world. :-)
ReplyDelete@KEN
ReplyDeleteI'm red to my bones but I definitely support the principle of the end justifying the means.
It was that realisation which made the Labour party electable again.
Bring back AC and PM I say.
@Julian......Careful, you're on a slippery slope for a Red. :-)
ReplyDeleteI don't think the Tories stand for the end justifying the means any more than Socialists do, and probably less.
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure when our red friends think we last had a socialist government, but let's say it was 1945-51. They nationalised (i.e. stole) lots of perfectly good private businesses because they thought that the state should own them.
@Blackburne
ReplyDeleteIf nationalisation is so bad, presumably you're not one of those Tories who thinks the armed forces and police force shouldn't be privatised?
Consistency is a fabulous, but difficult, thing in politics.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteKen,
ReplyDeleteLike Julian, I wish we had a modern day AC and PM.
The work they did kept you lot out for 13 years, and even then you couldn't even win a majority, despite a deep recession and unpopularity ;-) How could you have faced an easier Election?
(I know, fiddle the boundaries, but you are already working on that :-))
As for being a Tory, if I ever voted Tory, I would be forced to have that hand that crossed the ballot paper removed by elective surgery, as warning to the other one of the price of treachery ;-)
@Blackburne,
ReplyDeleteNationalisation was essential to revitalising the UK economy after years of war, when the country was broke. Where was private sector going to get the money to invest from?
Don't forget that the post-war consensus right up seventies and eighties meant that Conservative Governments supported Nationalisation too. Are you calling them Socialists?
My friend, you cannot look at 1945-51 in light of the neo-liberal framework that dominates free-market thinking now. That amounts to re-writing history, when it can only be fairly judged by the thinking at the time.
Let's not forget where the current mess really started - It started with Thatcher's plan to ethnically cleanse Britain into a Tory-voting, property owning 'democracy' but without a sense of society. The hopes and dreams of so many were dashed when Tory Blair continued many of her ways without taking back the utilities, without recognising that the unions were the backbone of the Labour movement and without showing any real sense of compassion to those most in need.
ReplyDeleteIt's no good blaming the last Labour administration in isolation - it has been a knock on effect over thirty years. What we need now is common sense and maybe even a REAL, tripartite coalition, getting the best ideas from all sides of the political spectrum. We really need to bite the bullet and lobby each and every Liberal Democrat MP in the hope that we can mobilise those who care and get a vote of no confidence in the current coalition. Other than that we will have to wait for five years, during which a great deal of damage may have been done which will be difficult to put right.
Did you know Labour has the same number of millionaires on the front bench as the Tories, did you know Labour has not quite but nearly the same number of public school people on the front bench, so having a go at the Tories for being rich or public schools does not wash.
ReplyDeleteYes labour has a post man as chancellor but for how long.
I once went to a meeting in which New labour told us the world they wanted, at the end I asked a question I said you spoke for an hour yet did not mention the disabled the sick or the poor, he said because under a New labour world you have no poor everyone would get the same wages the min wage, sick and disabled would be working! part of society, I said what all the disabled and he said yes oh yes no more charity.
No more charity so we are now getting charity.
Now you talk about Germany I'm half German, in Germany every employer who employs more then 20 people has to by law employ two disabled people, a company with 100 employee's must employ 20 disabled people, and no company in Germany can sack a disabled person until a judgment is made by the government.
The sad fact government be they Labour or Tory now believe that the vast majority of the sick and the disabled can work should be working.
They believe that only about 700,000 are so disabled they cannot work, do you agree if you do then great news your New labour, the difference between new labour and the Tories well I have yet to find the difference.
Labour stated at conference I know I was listening, that over the years disability and disability benefits have been abused by governments, they said to many people had slight disability or no disability worthy of being called disabled. Disability was a dumping ground to keep unemployment down. labour changed the way in which the numbers of disabled people were counted which means they have no reason now to dump people onto disability.
Have we as disabled any means of hitting back well yes we have, but we need a group to speak for us with a membership of millions just like pensioners, perhaps they we could join the pensioners and form a political group so big parties would have to listen to us, will this happen nope not in my life time
why not because we are all scared to put up our arm's in case we are investigated or seen as being non disabled so we sit at home say nothing and hope and pray it will pass us by
Yippppeeee! I've arrived! I have my first troll! Richard, by all means express your opinions, but if you swear and abuse again, I'll cut your comments. Make your argument without making yourself look like a child.
ReplyDeleteRobert - In fact, no, Labour don't have the same number of millionaires, but that's irrelevant. To leave a public school a Conservative is the norm. Just look at the voting patterns of AB voters. To leave a public school a Labour voter, one shows freedom of thought, an enquiring mind, a confidence of opinion and a willingness to examine a world they know little about. I do think it makes a difference. A public schoolboy can choose to continue the status quo or govern for the sons of miners. The choice makes a difference. (Churchill and Attlee). Robert, I'm not a one issue voter. In am FURIOUS that my party are on the wrong side of the disability argument, but then I didn't vote for Ed. I will fight to change it, but Labour are still on the right side of many, many arguments (imo of course). If you truly think Labour would have laid waste to the country in the way the Tories are about to, then I find it hard to believe you really were a Labour voter for all those years.
Check out Broken of Britain, a new site to bring those millions of voices together (and mine of course) There are around 20 million of us Robert, we CAN do this.
The Labour party voted for Ed M. If they'd wanted Ed Balls or Jon Cruddas, they would be leader now. I'm sorry you're so disillusioned, but use your energy to fight with me, not against.
Oh and by the way, I send Douglas Alexander and Ed Miliband 2 tweets a day. "I STRONLGY recommend you reconsider your position on ESA and DLA" then the second is the links to my site and Broken of Britain. Why don't you do the same? nd all your friends? And everyone that reads this site, and all THEIR friends? Do you honestly think Labour will ignore 20 thousand, 30 thousand 100 thousand messages a day telling them to think again????
ReplyDeleteI posted this on my blog regarding disabled people in modern Britain:
ReplyDeletehttp://batleymarket.blogspot.com/2010/10/national-disgrace.html
I would not claim for a moment the last Government got it right regarding disabled people, but the cuts in the CSR are certainly a step in the wrong direction.
I would like to see disabled issues and disabled people as a part of normal politics, not as pressure group on the outside, but getting involved, joining parties and standing for election.
This would enrich all of us.
Thank you so much Mr K.
ReplyDeleteThings change when people change them. I will never believe that we can't make a difference.
sadly I could never help you to get Newer labour elected, I'm for fighting for the disabled and the sick, but not to get a party elected thats no more or less any better then the Tories.
ReplyDeleteI tend to not bother with party related politics anymore because it never worked all you become is a party sples person and I've had enough of
Brilliant piece! I'd be laughing if I wasn't crying.
ReplyDeleteIgnore the predictable squealing of the selfish money-huggers - there's always one or two trolling the internet moaning about the spending of 'other peoples' money'. They'd rather spend every penny just on themselves and let the vulnerable fend for themselves. What charming people they are. The rest of us aren't as selfish.
@blackburne "I don't think the Tories stand for the end justifying the means"
ReplyDeleteYou might want to check what Chris Grayling said in his evidence to the Select Committee on Work and Pensions on Time Limiting, he was quite explicit that the end justified the means.
@Sue: Superb as ever.
Ah, maybe I should have checked the dates!
ReplyDelete