tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4568034298343558962.post9215226182247756977..comments2024-03-28T09:16:33.241+00:00Comments on Diary of a Benefit Scrounger: The Sickie-JinxSue Marshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14849801822216267250noreply@blogger.comBlogger15125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4568034298343558962.post-21548576226303146602011-08-22T18:40:09.815+01:002011-08-22T18:40:09.815+01:00Never though about my pain as a beast, like the id...Never though about my pain as a beast, like the idea of painkillers as bullets killing it he he ! oh the idea of wrestling the beast to the ground and giving it a taste of its own medicine mmmm thanks for giving me a cheery thought on a crappy day from a crappy week, when i feel bit better i will imagine my beast frozen in ice.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4568034298343558962.post-38187178434408517672011-05-23T20:55:47.785+01:002011-05-23T20:55:47.785+01:00I have depression & anxiety, and it's a va...I have depression & anxiety, and it's a variable condition. I do my best to avoid stress, as this makes me worse. Benefits and finding work are stressful, though. <br />When people see me those are the good days - I probably won't go out on a bad day, but if I worked I wouldn't have this choice and I'd have to go out and be useless.<br />When I'm feeling OK I can't remember how bad it can be, so that makes it difficult to have an assessment or fill in a form on a good day, but on a bad day I don't think I could do those things at all.<br />I'm feeling a lot better at the moment (i.e. not suicidal), but I've already had recurring depression through my life, so there's a high probability it will return, and I don't want to encourage that return by pushing myself too far.<br />That said, I'm not dossing about being a slacker. I'm doing voluntary work and other things, but I don't want to come to the attention of the DWP, because they will probably misinterpret an improvement as a recovery, and that will cause me great anxiety and worsen my condition again.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4568034298343558962.post-55581061167653395602011-05-23T16:28:19.246+01:002011-05-23T16:28:19.246+01:00Us lupies (lupus patients) sometimes are known to ...Us lupies (lupus patients) sometimes are known to refer to the illness as the "wolf". <br /><br />Every so often the wolf appears to be asleep. But you know he is only dozing. His eye opens a slit or at any moment he might bound up and knock you to the ground.<br /><br />So when the wolf is doing you never say so as he might hear you. You tiptoe around doing the little things everyone else takes for granted but which you normally can't do because you have a dratted big snarling wolf pinning you to the floor!<br /><br />Eventually the wolf always wakes up again. But nothing can take away the pleasure of those times when he dozes. But shhhhh! Just don't tell anyone!Sarahnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4568034298343558962.post-54596469790293899972011-05-23T11:52:58.715+01:002011-05-23T11:52:58.715+01:00Although I have a different disease, I can fully u...Although I have a different disease, I can fully understand. Our sense of normal is nowhere near anyone elses - because of that monster. No-one really wants to hear how you're really feeling each and every day, and to be honest, if I kept verbally saying how I was feeling, I know it would make ME depressed just talking about it!<br /><br />So - our normal is not everyone else's, but we always try and make it appear that way.<br /><br />Another excellent post.Saranoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4568034298343558962.post-62579013700146966662011-05-23T09:32:10.660+01:002011-05-23T09:32:10.660+01:00Sometimes, I can't answer the question at all....Sometimes, I can't answer the question at all. I always have this nasty urge to say 'Tell me, do you really want to know? Do you really want me to tell you how I feel? Thought not.' Rather than say that, like you, I say nothing much. I lie, or I just avoid the question.<br /><br />I agree completely with ahotbath. I fake 'fine' as much as I possibly can. What other choice is there?<br /><br />Brilliant post, Sue.Catherinehttp://www.catherinegracehughes.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4568034298343558962.post-83920487419683502622011-02-26T02:02:27.778+00:002011-02-26T02:02:27.778+00:00I'm now an expert at 'faking it', ie b...I'm now an expert at 'faking it', ie being 'fine'. What many people who accuse us folks who have variable conitions of being 'fakers' 'moaners'etc fail to realise is we often fake being OK because society offers us little choice. I'd bring any conversation with anyone bar my closest friends and family to a standstill of shock and awkwardness if I said how I really felt. People are not generally O.K with being face to face with serious illness, especially if you 'look O.K' . <br />Ironically the pressure of faking it and trying to keep up some semblance of normality probably doesn't do much good for my stress levels but sometimes I really just don't feel like being honest, as it can be painful for me too.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4568034298343558962.post-63963109288638066122011-02-25T23:06:40.982+00:002011-02-25T23:06:40.982+00:00I know how that feels! I've been there so many...I know how that feels! I've been there so many times I tend to say "I'm fine" as anything else is seen as moaning! upset a family member as I was to ill to attend a 18th birthday party! their not talking to me because of it. the beast has me in his jaws right now and dragging me lower. Guess I've just got to deal with the silent treatment!<br />sinister416Wife and Motherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15305014194077352762noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4568034298343558962.post-27273684032162300282011-02-25T22:36:14.068+00:002011-02-25T22:36:14.068+00:00Glad I found the words guys. Funny, I only find th...Glad I found the words guys. Funny, I only find them too when I write!Sue Marshhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14849801822216267250noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4568034298343558962.post-88829960097251225572011-02-25T22:20:06.493+00:002011-02-25T22:20:06.493+00:00Gods, does this sound familiar!
At least you have...Gods, does this sound familiar! <br />At least you have words for how to describe it.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00689711253288535044noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4568034298343558962.post-80909665392153030732011-02-25T21:45:55.342+00:002011-02-25T21:45:55.342+00:00sure do Yell...hugs to all who do, in any level......sure do Yell...hugs to all who do, in any level...<br />xPeace Artist Laineyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01752499118846572098noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4568034298343558962.post-3622580530537991172011-02-25T19:29:06.416+00:002011-02-25T19:29:06.416+00:00I'm sure many people reading this know just wh...I'm sure many people reading this know just what you mean... thanks for expressing the feeling so vividly!Yell in the Darkhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01682222546711659561noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4568034298343558962.post-58250160751713170962011-02-25T10:56:40.012+00:002011-02-25T10:56:40.012+00:00I totally agree with this! the sickie-jinx is snea...I totally agree with this! the sickie-jinx is sneaky, mean and tricksy, and you describe the feelings of battling with it so well... ! All the best xEmmahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09741788737588200682noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4568034298343558962.post-23673539277421032292011-02-25T10:39:25.017+00:002011-02-25T10:39:25.017+00:00(And I like being called a poet best of all)(And I like being called a poet best of all)Sue Marshhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14849801822216267250noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4568034298343558962.post-14647540394320611712011-02-25T09:52:15.005+00:002011-02-25T09:52:15.005+00:00Essois - Awwww, that's nice. Damn that sickie-...Essois - Awwww, that's nice. Damn that sickie-jinxSue Marshhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14849801822216267250noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4568034298343558962.post-2139197809209212392011-02-25T09:50:13.541+00:002011-02-25T09:50:13.541+00:00Sue - You are cursed with this (for most of us) un...Sue - You are cursed with this (for most of us) unimaginably nasty beast, but at the same time blessed with the wonderful gift of poetry and a rare articulateness which you are generous enough to share with others, even through your pain and suffering. A shining example of humanity who deserves better. Good Luck.essoishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05495651466677390875noreply@blogger.com